


The Truth

by TutkaGirl



Category: Criminal Minds, White Collar
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TutkaGirl/pseuds/TutkaGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal has lots of secrets, but the ones best kept in the dark, are the ones that no body thinks are possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who's Jason?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was going to start off as a NealxSpencer slash, but then my fangirl feels brain started thinking;
> 
> "Oh my god wouldn't Neal be ADORABLE as a child! BUT Spencer would be cuter!!! The only way to make it better though . . . . WOULD BE A BIG BROTHER NEAL LOOKING AFTER A LITTLE BROTHER SPENCER!!!"
> 
> And that was pretty much how this monstrosity came into existence. I think its actually pretty good for crap writing at midnight after two all nighters (and I'm not even in college yet!) 
> 
> The first chapter(s) will be in Neal's perspective kind of like a journal, so, yeah.

I know what I did was wrong.

Make no mistake I wouldn’t ever take it back. I did what I had to do to live. I had a family to protect. Every con I ran in the beginning was for Jason’s family. You probably have never heard of Jason. He was a sweet boy with mischievous hazel eyes a smile that melted hearts.

Jason’s tale actually begins on October 9, 1981. It’s not his own birthday, no, this is the day his little brother was born. A tiny, pink, squirming, screaming, brother. As soon as Jason first held that seven pound ten ounce bundle of deep brown eyes and honey colored hair, he knew he would do anything for his baby brother. He would sail seas and move mountains to please his brother. His parents named him Spencer William Reid. Their household was never the same again. 

Spencer had these eyes, they were a perfect chocolate color and looked as if he understood everything you said, even at one month old. He didn’t make noise though. He could scream and cry with the best of them, but if he was happy, he would sit and stay silent. This caused dispute, their father thought it was unnatural and something was wrong, their mother claimed he was just waiting until he had something important to say. It wasn’t until his second birthday that he finally spoke.

“Mom, can Jason read my bedtime story tonight?” there was complete silence at the dinner table.  Dianne smiled her all knowing mother smile. 

“Of course, Spencer,” and they both started eating again.

Later that night as Jason sat in Spencer’s bed, Alice and Wonderland open on his lap, he looked down at his brother. Those soulful brown eyes were turned on him and the small face smiled serenely. 

“Why don’t you ever talk?” Jason asks.

Spencer shrugs, “I’d rather listen, I’d rather learn than talk,” He says and looks pointedly down at the book. Jason gets the hint and starts reading again. 

Over the next four years Jason quickly realized that his little brother was extraordinary. He only talked when he had something important to say or ask. But Spencer knew things. He remembered everything he read and he would ask questions that their parents had trouble answering. 

All through elementary school he was teased and picked on. But Jason was always there to pick up Spencer’s spirits and make him laugh. 

Two weeks after Spencer’s tenth birthday their father leaves. There is never really an explanation, but he doesn’t ever come back. No letters, no calls, not even a child-support check. At age fourteen Jason has to find odd jobs around the neighborhood to get money for survival. 

Two years later Spencer graduates high school. They struggle to make ends meet. At age sixteen Jason begins to pick-pocket for extra spending cash.

Another year, Spencer has a PHD now and is getting money from being published. But their mother is in Bennington and they still are tight for cash. Jason is a seventeen year old burglar. 

Spencer now has two PHDs and Jason beginning to think that being a criminal is the only way he can support his family. He isn’t even eighteen yet. 

On Spencer’s fifteenth birthday he gets a call from his brother. He knows that something is wrong with Jason. But he doesn’t pry because he knows when not to ask questions. 

At age nineteen Jason Daniel Reid only existed on paper. From that day forward the man named Jason answered to Neal Caffrey. 

That’s right. I am Jason, that is my story. 

Once I became Neal Caffrey I did my best to keep Jason a secret. I still paid the Bennington bills and Spencer’s education was all funded by Jason’s bank accounts. Most of the money I made from cons was put into that account and I fixed it so when Spencer turned twenty-one he could access it. Not even Kate and Mozzie knew about it. 

I knew on my twenty-seventh birthday that Peter Burke was going to catch me. I just didn’t know how much he knew. My brother was already in the BAU and I was damned if I was going to let my brother go down because his education was funded by me. So I didn’t touch Jason’s life anymore. I stopped all contact with Spencer, and didn’t visit mom. 

I was constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone to pop out with evidence that would ruin my brother’s happiness. I didn’t relax until Peter caught me;

 

And arrested Neal Caffrey.


	2. Hiding Jason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best place to hide something is in plain sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have decided to continue this. I will keep writing chapters until my muse dies or I begin to write total crack fics and you all tell me to stop writing or you will pelt me with rotten tomatoes.
> 
> Hopefully my muse dies before that happens.

I escape to find Kate. 

Not for the reason Peter thinks; there is no audio on the prison video log so he can’t hear her telling me that she knows about Jason. Telling me she knows about Spencer.

She threatens to steal all of Jason’s money, and almost succeeds. Fowler gets to her first though, and she forgets about Jason in the hunt for the music box. 

Peter doesn’t have a clue. He thinks that I am a selfish criminal who never thinks about anything but myself.  He makes jokes about Kate leaving me and boasts about catching me a second time. He doesn’t even know how relieved I am he caught me. By working with and knowing Neal, it’s easier to keep him away from Jason.

He seems to think that all conmen are terrible people who can be neatly catogorized into one stereotype. I just play into his stereotype, and he doesn’t look past the surface.

Elizabeth is different. She knows I'm hiding something from Peter but she doesn't interfere. I love her a little more for it.

I see glimpses of Spencer on the TV sometimes. I saw the clip of Derek claiming to be Spencer, I can just imagine how that turned out. My baby brother can be vicious when it is called for. I have a system set up with June; I give her letters and she mails them to Spencer for me. Spencer replies to her and she reads them before giving them to me. Allowing her to read them was the only way I could convince her that I was staying on the straight and narrow.

I don’t tell Spencer a lot. I don't tell Spencer about Neal, I don’t tell Spencer about Peter, I don’t tell Spencer about working for the FBI.

He tells me everything. He tells me about saving an ER full of innocent people, he tells about his magic saving a train full of hostages, he tells me about thinking dad was an unsub. He tells me about bringing mom to Quanitco because an unsub was stalking them after she told him stories about the “knights of the round table”. I would laugh at the thought of mom in a FBI building if the case wasn’t so terrifying. 

But the most difficult letter to read was when he told me about the Dilaudid. By the time I find out he is almost five years clean and I am proud of him. But I’m also ashamed that I wasn’t there for him in his darkest time, I feel like a failure of a brother.

June says its sweet that I stay in touch with my baby brother. She says she wants to meet him some day after my sentence is up. She knows that I won’t allow him to visit until Neal is out of Jail.

Kate dies. I am relieved, but I know I have to act the part of grieving ex-boyfriend. The truth is I knew we were going to end months before it actually happened.

Alex is a thorn in my side, but a necessary thorn. I still can’t wait until she is out of my hair.

Sara is dirty, I know it. But I have to keep her close to find out what she knows. I have a bad feeling it has to do with Jason.

When we find out about the music box all I can think is about how Spencer would have figured this out in ten minutes.

Adler finally tips his hand and it blows up in his face. Literally.

Mozzie tries to get me to run away with the German loot. I don’t want to run, this is the happiest I’ve been since I was a kid.

Sara shows her cards. She knows Jason, she thinks Jason was my first alias. She only knows Neal Caffrey. She has convinced herself I have valuables from being Jason that she can give back to their owners. She threatens to go to Peter about it. I tell her that it will take me a few days to get her Jason’s spoils. 

In that time I set her up, I tell her she will find everything in a warehouse. I give an anonymous tip to the FBI that someone found Adler’s fortune. They set up surveillance around the block and watch as Sara walks in a grins like a kid on Christmas morning. 

She takes the fall for stealing everything. Mozzie is pissed, but I really don’t care. She tells Peter that I set her up, she tells Peter that I have another alias named Jason Reid, she tells Peter that I am going to betray him one day.

Peter doesn’t believe her. 

It’s his first real step towards knowing me. Just a tiny knock on the thick stone wall around Jason and Spencer. Maybe one day I will take down the wall and let him in.

But I doubt it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would also like to say that every repeated word and phrase is that way for a reason, I made the writing choppy on purpose so it would be like a person (namely Neal) looking back on their life.
> 
> If you have any requests for anything you would like to see from this universe I would be happy to write it for you. I can also do a different characters perspective or whatever you want. Just please let me know and I will do my best to deliver.


	3. Spencer's childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer always knew, but he could keep a secret when necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that some of the things in this chapter are unlikely/impossible but just work with me here :)

From a very young age Spencer knew he was different. 

His childhood was filled with english literature, Bob Dylan lyrics, and the sound of his brother’s voice. He didn’t like to talk, found it irritating when he couldn’t find the words to properly convey what he wanted. So he practiced. After everyone went to bed he would sit up and speak quietly to himself, recalling what his brother or mother read to him before bed and repeating it all word for word. 

When he finally does speak it makes him happy because he can finally be understood perfectly. 

He was wrong. 

Now that they know he can speak they expect him to carry on conversations. But he doesn’t want to speak, he wants to learn, he wants to read. 

He starts speaking regularly the day after his brother’s fourteenth birthday. He hopes that it makes Jason happy. 

Their father leaves that October. Spencer doesn’t understand, he thought dad wanted him to talk?

Spencer knows that the extra money Jason is getting isn’t from odd jobs. He might be young but he isn’t stupid. 

When Spencer goes to college he knows its only a matter of time before they have to put their mother in a hospital. 

On Spencer’s fifteenth birthday, Jason calls. That in itself isn’t odd, his brother calls at least once a week to check on how he is doing. But the way he speaks, the way his voice is tight like he is trying not to cry, that scares Spencer. He wants to go home, he wants to go to Las Vegas and comfort his brother, he wants to feel safe again. 

Spencer acts like nothing is wrong. And when they hang up he feels like he just shut a door on a part of his life. 

The calls stopped after that. So did the random college visits. Four months later Spencer got a letter in the mail from his brother. They sent mail to each other for a while, it was always a hassle because he had to mail it to Bennington where mom would give it to Jason. But it was better than nothing. 

When he sees the news report on Neal Caffrey he knows. He doesn’t do anything and it almost makes him feel guilty when Gideon recruits him for the BAU. Almost, but not quite.

When he gets into the BAU, Jason is proud and everything seems alright. Until a year later he gets the last letter. The return address is their family home in Las Vegas.

Enclosed was the deed to the house, now in Spencer’s name, and a post it note that simply said;

“I’m sorry, this is to protect you. I love you Spence. ~ Blue Jay”

A few months later Neal Caffrey is arrested for bond forgery. 

Spencer knows. And he understands.

 

It still hurts though.


	4. Peter's Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter always felt he was missing something.

When Peter began chasing Neal, he knew something about him didn't fit in the criminal life. And no matter how much he learned and knew, there was still a piece of Neil he would never be able to figure out.

He suspects this is because he has never been able to find any records of the forger before his 18th birthday. But he couldn’t find any proof Neal wasn’t his real name. 

When he finally does catch Caffrey, he is too caught up in the feeling of victory to notice Neal isn’t surprised about the raid. The sucker is the sweetest thing he has ever tasted and he enjoys the high of locking up another bad man. 

Later as he is going through Neal’s effects he finds a drawing of a baby swaddled up tight, large eyes peering soulfully at something in the distance. The artists feelings are drawn right on the paper; pride, sadness, longing.

He shakes off the unease and puts it in an evidence bag. 

When he gets the call, he is surprised. Neal only had a couple months left on his sentence, what could possibly be so important that Neal would risk four more years of prison?

He doesn’t know that Jason would risk anything for Spencer. 

He finds out about Kate; chalks it up to Neal being a hopeless romantic chasing after his woman. 

When he finds Neal, the man looks crushed and desperate holding an empty bottle of Bordeaux, _heartache_ he tells himself and locks him up again. 

When Peter tells Neal that he has been accepted as a criminal consultant, the look in those hazel eyes is so happy and hopeful. Once again Peter feels like he doesn’t know the real Neal. 

Peter tries to figure Neal out, asks about his parents, asks about Kate, asks about his life. But every time Neal makes up some worthless answer they both know are lies. 

Sometimes he notices Elizabeth giving the crook soft looks, as if she knows what’s underneath the womanizing, arrogant, smart-as-hell conman. _Still hung up on Kate,_ he thinks and tries to get him to date more. 

The one time Peter walks into Caffery’s apartment unannounced, the man is bent forward reading a letter. His whole body is tense, fists clenching around the paper, and when it crinkles, he is quick to smooth it out again. Once he notices Peter he folds the letter and sets it on the bedside table, asks if they have a case. 

The next time, Peter can’t find the letter anywhere. 

He thinks that Sara is good for Neal. 

She isn’t.

He listens to her rant and rave. He listens to her verbally degrade Caffrey. He pretends not to notice the way Neal flinches when she claims he is a “greedy, arrogant asshole who will never love anyone as much as he loves himself.” 

He looks up Jason Reid, but Jason Reid doesn’t have so much as a parking ticket to his name. Not even Neal Caffrey is that good. 

Two years later Peter is starting to see something else in Neal. He observes the odd tilt of Neal’s lips around kids. He considers the soft look whenever they drive by a college. He comes across more letters in the apartment. 

Neal’s sentence is almost over. 

When he goes over to Neal’s flat to invite him to dinner with Ell, one of the letters is open on the table. The shower is running and he sees it is written to “My Blue Jay” signed “Little Penny”. Peter is so incredibly tempted to read it. He resists.

He hopes this girl wont get Neal in more trouble. 

When Neal gets out of the shower they go have dinner and Neal looks more relaxed than he ever has with the Burkes. 

Peter wonders if reading that letter would have helped him understand Neal just a bit better. If it would have been worth it to break their friendship forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the Kudos, please leave me reviews if you think i should continue this!


	5. Neals Leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry. Junior year has thrown me on my ass and kicked the shit out of me. Thank god for spring break. This is kinda just a filler until I can put together the meetings. I hope you like!

I’m free.

The last day wearing my anklet was surprisingly uneventful. Peter took it off himself, and everyone was there in the office. I was surprised how many of the office workers I had become friends with. None of them know the truth but they can tell something has “changed” in me and hope I am successful in whatever I do (legally).

Peter invites me to a celebratory dinner with Ell, well not so much invites, “You will come with me or Ell will come to you,”

She cries and hugs me. “Your hugs remind me of my mom,” I say. She pulls away with wide eyes, “She was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when I was five.” Ell’s eyes sadden and Peter looks thunderstruck.

It feels good to tell them a small truth.

The rest of the night we fill with smalltalk. Ell asks if I’m going to keep working for the FBI, I tell her no.

I don’t tell her where I’m going, I don’t tell her what I plan to do.

I don’t tell her Jason has a plain ticket to Virginia, I don’t tell her Jason is going to visit his baby brother for the first time in over ten years.

I don’t tell either of them, today is the last day Neal Caffrey will exist.

 

Neal’s free.

Peter doesn’t quite know how he feels about that.

He knows that no matter what happens Neal will never become a criminal again. But he still hasn’t found the last piece of the puzzle that is Neal Caffrey.

And it makes him uneasy.

After dinner, Peter searches for any Mrs. Caffrey who would fit the little bit of information Neal gave them last night. His search turns up nothing.

It’s confirmation that Neal Caffery is a false name.

He doesn’t do anything about it.

 

Jason is coming home.

Spencer got a email that his brother has bought a plane ticket to Quantico, Virginia. Spencer plans.

When he goes to pick up Jason from the airport, he can’t stop smiling. When he first glimpses that mischievous smile and a perfectly tailored suit, he sprints towards his brother. They collide in a mess of bag straps and flailing limbs, the little girl from the family next to them giggles when they almost fall over.

“Hey, baby bro, calm down, I’m not going anywhere.” The sound of that lightly graveled voice makes Spencer feel safe after so long of not. And he doesn’t notice he is crying until Jason begins to shush him. “Hey, hey Spence, I’m not leaving. I’m right here, I promise. I won’t leave again, I promise I will make up for being such a shitty brother, I promise.”

Once they get home Jason starts to get fidgety. He won’t look Spencer in the eye, and his talking almost completely stops.

“Hey, Spence I need to tell-”

“It’s okay, Neal.” Spencer says looking straight at his brother, watches him violently flinch back from the name. “I already know. I know that it happened. I know why you did it. And I forgive you Jason. I promise, you are forgiven,”

“How could you ever forgive me?” Jason doesn’t meet his brothers eyes, “I left you all alone, just like dad did. And I never told you why,”

“But you did. You told me with your actions, I know how to listen, it’s how I spent the first two years of my life.” Spencer smiles at his brother. They don’t speak of it again.

The day after Jason gets home, they host a dinner party.

He is prepared; Meal? check. Wine? check. DNA test? check.

As he is cooking, his older brother sits on the counter by the stove. When the bell rings and he hears through the door, “Hurry up pretty boy that smells awesome and I'm starving!” 

Jason grins wickedly at him, and Spencer has never felt as unprepared in his entire life.


	6. Discovering Jason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE BITCH!
> 
> I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.
> 
> Haha, so funny story, I'm a piece of trash who is now in college and finally found the time and inspiration to write this chapter. Part of the reason I haven't posted earlier is because I wanted to write the dinner party I mentioned in the last chapter but it just wasn't flowing so I procrastinated (I'm really good at that). ANYWAYS! I hope you enjoy it, and for those following Episodes Re-made I might have the next installment in soon, just depends on my homework load for the next month. Thank you guys so much for not giving up on me, your comments are sometimes the only reason I don't just delete everything I write about this AU. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

It’d been a year, almost to the day, since Peter last saw Neal Caffery. Or at least the man he knew as Neal. There have been times when he thought he had seen the younger man.

But it had never actually been him.

Once he was in a lecture hall in Quantico, Virginia. Burke had been there to attend a seminar on profiling when out of the corner of his eye he saw a brunette man attempting to get the attention of the SSA in charge of the lecture. Burke would have sworn that it was Caffery, but on closer inspection the young man was wearing horn rimmed glasses and a sweater vest, both were items Neal would never be caught dead in.

However every once in a while, on those long nights when insomnia kept him up, he wondered what the con artist was up to.

Peter just hoped that he was staying out of trouble.

 

“Peter, do we know anyone who lives in Las Vegas?”

“Nope . . . why?”

“We just got a card from a Jason Reid in Las Vegas, Nevada,”

“Let me see,” Eli handed her husband the envelope and watched as he opened it. As she watched him pull out the card and look at his eyebrows furrowed. She scooted her chair closer to his and got a look at the front, which housed a picture of a shockingly bright blue jay flying across a snow-white landscape. When he opened it there was the generically printed “Happy Holidays” but in neat handwriting below it said:

“I hope your holidays are as happy and family filled as mine, Jason Reid”

Ell looked back to Peter and he shrugged.

“I can look this guy up and make sure he's not a criminal, but I’ve never heard of him. Maybe he's one of your old clients or something,” Peter handed her back the card.

“Alright, just let me know what you find,”

For the next two years they received Christmas cards from the mysterious Jason Reid. Each one different but all featuring a blue jay and containing the same well wishes. Peter had tried to figure out who it was, but the only Jason Reid he could find was an unemployed man whose mother currently resided at Bennington Sanitarium.

It wasn’t until the fourth year that The Card arrived.

Ell was sick. Between running around New York in the snow and staying up late finalizing the latest event her company was running she had caught a nasty cold. So Peter had set her up on the couch with the TV remote, a couple books, and enough fluids to drown a small elephant.

Which meant that Peter had checked the mail that day. When he found the card from Jason, he didn't think twice about opening it right inside the front door. It was weird, receiving Christmas wishes from a man you didn't know, but it had become a sort of tradition in the Burke household. So he was startled when upon taking the card out of the envelope, and scrap of something fluttered to the floor. There had never been anything in the envelopes except for the cards before. When he picked it up he realized it was a picture.

A picture of Neal.

Only it wasn’t Neal, that much was obvious.

For one thing the man in the picture had a beard. It was well maintained, but a beard none the less. He also had on a pair of jeans and an ugly Christmas sweater that matched the younger man who he had his arm slung around in the photo. They looked to be brothers and were both leaning over a woman who must have been their mother. All three were smiling brilliantly.

They looked happy.

“He’s happy,” He said out loud.

“Whose happy?” El asked, watching him with concern. Peter didn’t respond, simply handed her the picture in silence. Once she saw it her mouth almost dropped open. They stood in silence a moment, wrapping their heads around this information. Until Peter saw the front of the card and had a revelation.

“My Blue Jay,” he whispered to himself.

“What did you say Peter?” Elizabeth croaked out, which shook him out of his thoughts. He cleared his throat and spoke louder.

“I said, ‘My Blue Jay’. Back when Neal was still around I found a letter out when he was in the shower, it was addressed to ‘My Blue Jay’ I could never figure out why,” he told her as he handed her the card. On the front was another picture of a blue jay flying over a snow covered town. Wings spread magnificently, feathers all on display.

“I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out,” El said, “I knew that he had family out there, and who else would send such odd Christmas cards.”

“Well I didn’t figure it out either . . . but still,”

It wasn’t until two days later that they worked up the nerve to open the card. The inside again had the same “Happy Holidays” the first three did, except the handwriting this time said:

"If you are ever in the neighborhood, stop by and say hi, the address is on the envelope. Again I hope your holidays are as happy and family filled as mine, Jason Reid (Blue Jay)”

Another two months passed by before fate found a certain middle aged couple ringing the doorbell of a Las Vegas home, sweating in the heat.

Inside two younger men ceased their discussion about classical literature and turned towards the door.

“You expecting anyone Jay?”

“Nope, only you were supposed to be here Penny,”

“Well go answer your door already!”

“Oh, so it’s only my house when something needs to be done huh?”

Footsteps echoed from the living room, followed by laughter. Upon opening the door the man’s eyes widened.

“ . . . Peter . . . Ell,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS DON'T KILL ME!
> 
>  
> 
> Your comments make me happy and more likely to write and post sooner :)

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all thoughts would be GREAT! Thank you!


End file.
